A week later I went back for that ultrasound I skipped out on and the results of my third AMH test. I had a week to settle down and although I am well aware the results do not really matter, that sharp drop the second time really threw me for a loop. I needed more answers.
Also now that I had decided to go through with freezing my eggs, I wanted to have my mother meet the doctor that would be helping me retrieve my last bit of hope. Although I have not talked about my mother in this blog, she has been very supportive in every aspect of this process. I may not have a partner, but one thing I am not short on is support from my parents and friends. Even though people are not able to fully relate to or understand a situation unless it is actually happening to them, I believe my mother somehow feels every ounce of pain, confusion, and despair I have endured during the last few months.
When the doctor entered the exam room, he informed me that my blood work had come back. My AMH was a .9.
I felt my face light up. I didn’t want to get too excited because I knew exactly what my doctor was going to say to me. That AMH was not reliable for this reason, it oscillates. That these results were exactly the reason AMH was not FDA approved.
And that’s exactly what he told me; that my ultrasounds and FSH were more in line with one of the lower readings. I’m leaning towards the .6 because that .3 was not something that sat well with me.
BUT the moral of the story is do NOT trust your AMH because it doesn’t know what it’s talking about.
Further into the appointment he saw that the cysts were gone but there were some new ones. This supported his initial thought that these were cysts that would come and go with my cycle and would not be anything to worry about.
This appointment went well overall. No great news, but nothing terrible. I felt like things were really starting to make a turn. Or I was just accepting my situation? Changing my reaction? Making the decision to freeze my eggs was like lifting an elephant off of my chest. Although I did not have anything close to a guarantee, it was better than nothing. And that’s what I was holding on to. And that was enough for me.
My mother seemed happy with the doctor. She has this way of reading people that I never felt like I possessed. When I asked her what she thought of his she said “He’s fine” which is a lot coming from her. It put my mind at ease and led me towards the next stretch of my journey….
Now where was I going to get that 16k…..